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January 3, 2014 / ginavoskov2013

Let-down let down (or actually, not so much.)

Happy 2014!

I was dead asleep by 11:50, just ten minutes before the ball dropped, and, the next morning when I asked Dennis why he didn’t wake me up for the countdown, he just looked at me with an expression that said, “I’m not a fucking idiot.” After all the times he has woken me up, such as the time when he put pants on Edie when she was 3 weeks old and thought she looked funny in them and wanted me to see, he has definitely learned his lesson. (But maybe I did actually want to see the ball drop? We’ll never know. However, I woke up with a smile on my face so probably he made the right decision, and starting off the new year with smiles in the morning far surpasses ending the year seeing a fancy ball make a ten-second descent.)

Here are my resolutions for 2014. I think I can keep them, or most of them, for most of the year. Note the absence of basically anything physical.

1) Read more.

2) Spend as much time as I can with Edie.

3) Love my work again, or at least approach it with a positive attitude.

Dennis’s resolutions were something like this:

1) be active all the time everywhere and have so many projects going at the same time such as fixing cabinets, hiking, planting lavender, reading about how to compost, building a compost bin, biking to classes about gardening with compost, composting bikes, cooking after composting lavender in the new fixed cabinets while biking, and learn Spanish again.

2) spend time with Edie doing all those things at the same time, in Spanish, and also figure out how to read Russian and get the grandparents to only speak to Edie in Russian, also let’s go hang out at Eric’s house and maybe Dan and Sam want to come over for dinner?

3) There was something else, but first I want a beer can you check my spelling in this email do you still want to get Time Out New York we need milk.

So far we have both done my first resolution. I’m reading a book called “Tenth of December,” which is a collection of short stories. I don’t normally enjoy short stories because A) they move around from subject to subject too quickly and B) the styles and settings of the stories are usually inconsistent, so I feel kind of messed with. But this was a gift from Dennis so I am giving it a try. So far I am totally right about A and B, and I had to skip one of the stories because it was entitled “The Puppy” and I could tell it was going to be about the death of a puppy and I absolutely cannot read anything about the death of anyone except adult humans. So mostly I can’t read about the deaths of animals or babies. (This reminds me of the time when I was about six months pregnant and Dennis wanted to watch a movie about the genocide in Bosnia. We stopped watching it the instant a baby came to the most tragic end and I sobbed so violently while also yelling at Dennis “This is a movie about GENOCIDE. GENOCIDE, DENNIS. OF COURSE THEY ARE GOING TO HURT BABIES! WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT TO HURT BABIES? WHY DID YOU WANT TO WATCH THIS MOVIE? WHY DID YOU MAKE ME WATCH THIS MOVIE??!! WHY DID THEY HURT BABIES? WHY DID THEY HURT BABIES? I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! DON’T TOUCH ME!)  I gave Dennis a book called “Tom’s River,” which is about pollution and cancer and is, from what I can gather, kind of Erin Brokovich-y, which really appeals to me. So far all he’s said is, “There’s a lot of science in it,” which can’t be good. But it kept coming up on the New Yorker Book Concierge, so I’m just going to have to see for myself when I read it faster than Dennis can.

My boobs have made their own resolutions, each one separately. The left one said, “I resolve never to make more milk! Also I will be really small!” and the right one, sensing my disgust with the left’s revolt, and having a guilty conscience said, “I also resolve to be small and also I guess I will kind of sometimes make milk, but only like a couple of ounces over the course of the day please don’t hate me.” So, guys, we are basically on the formula train. And IT. IS. AWESOME. Okay, yeah, it’s costly, and no, it doesn’t contain immuno-anythings, but OH MY GOD I HAVE TIME AGAIN. And Edie is SLEEPING. HARD. And that means I am sleeping and when everyone is sleeping we are such a happy family. Tolstoy said all happy families are the same, but that’s not really true because there is no family happier than a formula family after months of breastfeeding the baby every twenty seven minutes with milk the consistency of air. And Edie has thunder thighs and rolls along her arms and seventeen chins and I know this was the right decision for her. She still gets whatever my body can manage to make but she is just thriving on formula and there is nothing any one in the world can say that will make me feel bad about my little girl thriving. I can own it now. It’s taken many weeks to be okay with this, but looking at her huge, chunky smile makes all of that guilt vanish.

It’s a snow day today. Even though every day is basically a snow day since I’ve been on maternity leave, there is still excitement in the air when schools are closed. This morning we had our neighbors over for pancakes and coffee and maple syrup that my friend made from the trees in his yard in Vermont. We listened to music, laughed and talked, and it was amazing and Edie wanted to nap. And then we all realized it was only 9:30. The whole day is still ahead of us! The snow has stopped in the city and now it’s just plow after plow making its way down 34th Avenue, and the occasional sound of spinning tires from all of the folks who are trying to get places but who just don’t know how to drive in the winter.

Have a great day, everyone. And happy new year!


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