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September 26, 2013 / ginavoskov2013

Get in my belly.

If there is prepared food in the refrigerator, I don’t care what the fuck it is, I’ll eat it. The sexiest thing these days is any food that will take one or fewer steps to prepare, and usually that step is: Remove From Fridge. Even better if I don’t have to go through the hassle.

Last week I visited a friend in New Jersey. She’d prepared rice and beans and chicken the night before and I was thrilled. I love rice and beans and chicken, but I also love when the food has already been prepared and all I have to do is eat it. One of the hardest things recently has been to mask the defeat I feel when Dennis lovingly tells me he wants to cook dinner for me. Because it takes SO LONG. Sunday, for instance, he said, “Tonight’s dinner will take me three hours to make.”

Three hours?

Might as well be seventy six years. Honestly, if the food is not sitting on the counter and I can walk by and grab it and shove it in my mouth in between diaper changes and baby talking at a pitch eleven octaves higher than normal, I likely won’t eat it.

Also, when I do get my hands on food that I’ve pulled from the fridge, I am so furiously hungry and busy that I just don’t give a shit what it tastes like. Have you had cold, day-old spaghetti–no sauce? Cold chicken soup? Leftover sushi? You probably have. But those would be exceptions to your diet. They are staples of mine. Anything cold, anything that was once supposed to be hot but is kind of edible cold, anything raw, anything that needs less than twelve seconds to deal with–this is my new normal. At my friend’s house in New Jersey, I asked for a second helping of rice and beans and chicken. I helped myself–pulling it out of the refrigerator–and took two healthy servings. I started eating it.

“Do you want to heat it up?” my friend asked.

“No, that’s fine,” I said, with one full serving already stuffed in my mouth. The truth is, until she suggested that I heat it up my second helping, I hadn’t even realized that the first helping had been warm. Rice and beans taste infinitely better warm, no? But I didn’t care. It was food and it was delicious and I was going to eat it. Cold.

Tonight, for instance, I am eating an assortment of food that is easily prepared and eaten. Two nights ago, Dennis made an egg salad of sorts. I hate egg salad most of the time, so when he offered me a bite then, I was like, “Hell no, get that away from my face.”

So I ate that tonight, and then followed it with a Guinness, and now a bowl of granola. Here’s why. Edie went to sleep around 8:15. That leaves me roughly 45 minutes of time to nourish myself before I know I have to be in bed. (Sidebar: My friend Tami is probably gagging at the idea that the foods I’ve just mentioned fall under my “nourishment” category. Tami’s a fucking triathlete. She posts on her blog about her ridiculously healthy food choices. She went paleo during her pregnancy, yo. We are in different categories of humanity, me and Tami. Her offspring will have bones of steel. Mine will have buns of cinnamon with extra icing and a side of Ben & Jerry’s. Hi Tami!) Anyway, I have to get to sleep as early as I can because I know Edie’s going to be up at some point in the night and if I don’t get as much sleep as I can, I am not a good human in the morning. Or for an entire day. I used to be a morning person. But now I’m like a teenager who hates mornings and hates her parents and jesus christ, mom, why didn’t you wash my dark jeans, no not those dark jeans, but the other dark jeans. gawwwwwwwwwd you are SO. STUPID.

Dennis texted me last night at around 10pm telling me he was on his way home from location. The location was 15 minutes away, in Forest Hills. “I hope I’m asleep by the time you get home,” I texted back.

And I was. I was so deeply asleep that at midnight, I sat straight up in bed in a total panic that he hadn’t returned at all. But he was sound asleep next to me.

So it’s just after 9 right now and I’m doing the math about how much time I have for potential sleep and how writing this post is making me do subtraction. I have a beer to finish and a couple oat flakes left in my cereal bowl.

Mmm-mmm-good.

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5 Comments

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  1. meeshie / Sep 26 2013 9:22 pm

    When the kidling isn’t letting me get enough sleep or is cluster feeding I do prep cooking (or my husband does). We buy huge flats of italian sausage and cook it all and toss it in the fridge. I’ll eat it cold whenever I get a minute to eat. I also buy Marie Calender’s pot pies in bulk from Costco.. you can microwave them in 5 minutes.

    We buy cheese and salami and cut it all up and leave it in the fridge for snacks. Crackers I can eat one handed while breast feeding. Yadda yadda. You are so not alone 😉

    • ginavoskov2013 / Sep 26 2013 9:33 pm

      It’s impossible to find time to eat!! When Dennis was home with me in the beginning he was constantly providing me with snacks and it was amazing. But as soon as I was on my own, I was like, “Food? Hunger? I do not understand those words.” Salami and cheese is a good idea. Almonds are also great, and plums.

      • meeshie / Sep 27 2013 8:59 pm

        I ended up spending a lot of money on chinese food delivery.

  2. Melanie / Sep 27 2013 8:28 pm

    And this is the exact reason that I gained 20 pounds after the pregnancy. Lost weight (not on purpose) during. Gained weight after. Anything that is easy and portable suddenly works.

    • ginavoskov2013 / Sep 27 2013 8:45 pm

      Right. Ice cream, I’ve found, is incredibly easy and portable.

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